Thank you all for your kind and wonderful comments on yesterday's post. They were really helpful for me.
What I've come to realize over thinking about this awful fatigue and hypermetabolism mess is that I need to practice some serious radical acceptance. Not that I expect that this will eliminate my fatigue, but hopefully, I can scrape up a few scraps of energy that I was wasting on resisting and fighting the current state of events.
So what do I need to accept? Several things:
- My need to eat a lot. My mom tells me most people would kill for my metabolism. I tell her they don't need to bother, as I'm perfectly happy to give it away upon request. But there's not much I can do about how much food I'm burning off right now. It's just reality. It's what I need to do to get better, it sucks, but there's also no real alternative.
- I'm not going to be as productive as I usually am. This one is really hard for me. I generally hate on myself if I'm not constantly busy. It's fine when I have the energy, am engaged in life, and can plan in some breaks. That's not my current life. Again, it's unavoidable. I'm lucky in that my work schedule is pretty flexible, and a couple of short months financially aren't going to be the end of the world.
It's hard for me to just "accept" something. I generally try to fight it, or change it, or subvert the system if there's something I don't like. I'm not naturally very zen. I'm anxious and high-strung, I don't like to just "be," and I don't generally take things in stride. So radical acceptance is a very new concept for me. New, but helpful.
What's something you're looking to radically accept? Share in the comments section!