Most humans like a sense of control in their world. Some of us (like me) like a sense of control more than others. And need for control stems from an inability tolerate uncertainty. I don't like surprises--not even in the form of presents. I don't like suspenseful movies. I don't like decisions hanging over my head. I like things to be clear and predictable.

I stumbled across a study that was published last year in the research journal Science titled "Lacking Control Increases Illusory Pattern Perception" by Jennifer Whitson and Adam Galinsky that addresses some of my favorite nouns bandied about in the eating disorder world: control. fear. superstition. rituals. A press release said that

[The researchers] showed that individuals who lacked control were more likely to see images that did not exist, perceive conspiracies, and develop superstitions.

"The less control people have over their lives, the more likely they are to try and regain control through mental gymnastics," said Galinsky. "Feelings of control are so important to people that a lack of control is inherently threatening. While some misperceptions can be bad or lead one astray, they're extremely common and most likely satisfy a deep and enduring psychological need."

According to Whitson, that psychological need is for control, and the ability to minimize uncertainty and predict beneficial courses of action. In situations where one has little control, the researchers proposed that an individual may believe that mysterious, unseen mechanisms are secretly at work. To test their theory, the researchers created a number of situations characterized by lack of control and then measured whether people saw a variety of illusory patterns.

"...People see false patterns in all types of data, imagining trends in stock markets, seeing faces in static, and detecting conspiracies between acquaintances. This suggests that lacking control leads to a visceral need for order – even imaginary order," said Whitson.

This reminds me a lot of how the need for control is discussed in ED treatment. Even though an eating disorder isn't about control, the need for control is the underlying theme of many eating disorder behaviors, whether it is controlling what is consumed, purged, exercised, or what have you. In so many personal accounts of eating disorders, I have heard statements saying something along the lines of "when everything else felt out of control, at least I could control my food."

But this research has made me look closer and think harder about what is actually going on. Stress is a frequent trigger of eating disorder onset and relapse, and one of the most stressful things is feeling like you have no control over your life. I've been there. It sucks. So maybe if the eating disorder wasn't "about" trying to control every aspect of my food intake, maybe this lack of control contributed to why I fell for the ED delusions hook, line, and sinker.

If I was like the people in Whitson's and Galinsky's study, then the times I was under stress, I would have been much more likely to assume that my decrease in food and increase in exercise helped make the situation resolve. It helped cement the superstitious beliefs that if I eat more than X calories or exercise less than Y hours or don't take at least Z laxatives, then all hell would break loose. Of course, nothing makes you feel more out of control than an eating disorder, so the beliefs and the need for pseudo-psychological order only increases. The "unseen mechanisms" proposed by the researchers was, in my case, the eating disorder. It simultaneously made the world go 'round, and also made my life cohere into a series of actions that I could understand and manage.

On the flipside, this research suggests that helping people gain control over their lives (which, in the case of EDs, would start with stopping symptoms) would decrease their endless mental gymnastics in trying to find a safe food, or a safe place to purge.

This has really made me re-think the role of control in eating disorders.