So I'm in the supermarket checkout line, trying to ignore all of the stupid and toxic tabloids and celebrity magazines. The had an evaluation of "Top Beach Bods" and arrows pointing to "belly bulges" and cellulite.
Holy shit! You mean the people in Hollywood are...people? No way! I never would have guessed.
This brings up several points, namely: WHO CARES??? I don't get it.
This, combined with many of the headlines and features on women's and men's magazines, makes me realize: the body isn't about form and function. It's not even about function. It's all about form.
On those muscle magazines, do they ever say "Do these exercises so you can help save a person's life?" Or kick a potential mugger in the balls so hard they come flying out his nose?*
No. It's so potential partners will think you're hot, or you'll have six pack abs, or your biceps will be more defined, or many times, just because. Because you'll look better. Because you'll be healthier. Which is really the first one.
Weight loss is rarely promoted for health, not really. The doctor says to lose weight to lower your cholesterol, blood pressure, you name it. Many of them are no doubt well-meaning. But when you lose weight, your friend doesn't say, "You've lost weight! How much did your LDL levels go down?" No. They say, "You look great." Even when you're in the death throes of anorexia. My heart was failing and people were asking me for weight loss tips.
I'm sorry, but that's messed up. It's like asking a cancer patient how they get their cells to divide so freaking well.
Take one of my caveman analogies. I love them. They're so illuminating.
So we have our typical group of cavemen (oh, around 4 or 5) out hunting antelope. When they go to throw their spears, they're not precisely admiring their biceps. They're thinking "Mmmm...dinner." They might also be thinking "My wife is going to kick my balls out my nose if I don't bring dinner home" or that their buddy off Stage Left is going to do the same if they miss again. Whatever it is, they're not just staring at their biceps.
And can you imagine the women around the campfire, skinning the antelope. I doubt there's anyone in leopard-skin print legwarmers going, "Pull that skin back, ladies. Feel the burn. Feel the burn! Let's step it up! And march!" They're skinning the freaking antelope.
Yes, there's a lot to be said about form, function and the mating game. It's not purely one or the other. There should be a bit of both- you can't have function without form.
But think about it- that belly bulge on one of the celebrities? She had just given birth not all that long ago. A belly bulge. That woman nurtured another human life with her own body for nine months. And now she's supposed to get rid of all traces it ever happened? I hate to break it to you, but that's not how the human body works. Why don't we celebrate the process of life and giving birth, rather than pointing "There's a belly. Tee-hee, tee-hee." No shit it's a belly. People are dumb, but they're not that dumb.
*By the way, I love that image. On so many levels.