It's all about the penthouse, baby...

I have arrived back in the boring Midwest after successfully finding housing in Baltimore. I found an apartment on my first day, though not without finding some damn scary places first. The first apartment I looked at had, shall we say, less than optimal pest control. When you board the elevator and you see a roach (albeit a dead roach, but still...), well, this does not bode well. The apartment was "furnished." And yes, there is a reason that is in quotation marks. Ugh.

Found a nice-looking apartment only to learn it didn't take pets. The lady was telling me, "You could leave kitty at home," and I was thinking, "The hell I could, lady."

Then I found the apartment that I took. Luxurious definitely is not the word for it. They call it an "executive studio," and it really is like a miniature one-bedroom. A really miniature one bedroom. The seller, though, was the fact that it was on the top floor. And that means a penthouse. Yeah, yeah, it's only a teeny fraction of the space that actually composes the top floor, but who cares.

And I figure it this way: I'm so high up that if Ed ever starts to bug me I'll just throw the little f**ker out the window.

Look out below!!!!!

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Anonymous said...

Haha! I love the very thought of throwing Ed out the window. If only it could be done for real... :)

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. It's been a week filled with pain and joy.

carrie said...

I can hear him go sailing over the railing...

...and going splat on the sidewalk. Like a melon.

Damn I love that image!

Willow said...

Carrie, you are moving to my neck of the woods! WOot! Well, in the general vicinity anyway; I'm around the beltway from Baltimore. Can I come watch Ed go splat too? That would be cool.

carrie said...

Maybe I'll host a housewarming/ED splat party. That would be fun! We could also chuck our ED-related paraphanealia (scales, calorie counters, old clothes) over the balcony too.

Although if we do that, it would probably be a good idea for me to have an immediate vacancy in a different apartment complex.

Thomas said...

Baltimore? Thats my neck of the woods - I'm about 1/2 hour drive south of there. Consider yourself waved hello to!

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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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nour·ish: (v); to sustain with food or nutriment; supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth; to cherish, foster, keep alive; to strengthen, build up, or promote


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