I have arrived back in the boring Midwest after successfully finding housing in Baltimore. I found an apartment on my first day, though not without finding some damn scary places first. The first apartment I looked at had, shall we say, less than optimal pest control. When you board the elevator and you see a roach (albeit a dead roach, but still...), well, this does not bode well. The apartment was "furnished." And yes, there is a reason that is in quotation marks. Ugh.

Found a nice-looking apartment only to learn it didn't take pets. The lady was telling me, "You could leave kitty at home," and I was thinking, "The hell I could, lady."

Then I found the apartment that I took. Luxurious definitely is not the word for it. They call it an "executive studio," and it really is like a miniature one-bedroom. A really miniature one bedroom. The seller, though, was the fact that it was on the top floor. And that means a penthouse. Yeah, yeah, it's only a teeny fraction of the space that actually composes the top floor, but who cares.

And I figure it this way: I'm so high up that if Ed ever starts to bug me I'll just throw the little f**ker out the window.

Look out below!!!!!