One of the benefit of living at home with my parents right now (besides not having to pay to do my laundry) is that my parents have cable. This greatly expands the number of TV shows I am exposed to because all I get in my apartment are ABC, CBS, and the weird religious channel. One of the new TV shows this season is called "Living with Ed," on HGTV. This show is about a Hollywood actor named Ed who is really into being environmentally conscious- and also driving his wife nuts with his efforts.
My first thought was that no one could be worse than the Ed that I've been living with these past 8-ish years. Though, after watching the show last night, I realized that this guy comes pretty darn close. He stood outside of his wife's shower and told her how many gallons of water she had used thus far. He installed a big red plastic water jug (reservoir) in their beautiful backyard to compensate. And on and on.
This dude wouldn't last five minutes around me, even all of my environmental leanings aside. He's just...annoying!
Which begs the point of why do I keep my own Ed around. I'm slowly kicking him out. The red plastic water jug has definitely gone. He no longer counts my calories or judges my workouts. But I still hear his commentaries from the front porch, telling me the house needs a paint job, that my belly is bulging, my eyebrows need tweezing. Why should I put up with this jerk?
I shouldn't, really. Ed isn't the voice of the fashionistas, or the editors of Cosmo, or of TV commercials. Ed is the voice of my brain disease, anorexia. I call it Ed to distinguish it from my own personality. I am not "an anorexic." I am suffering from anorexia. Big difference. The Ed on the TV show is only one half of his marriage with his wife (who had her moments, too). Whether or not she chooses to live with him is up to her. It's the same for me. I don't have to live with Ed. But if I do want to leave the relationship, I need help. From food. From my psychiatrist, therapist, dietician (ie, my divorce attorneys). From my friends and family.
The irony of this show is that I was yelling at the woman to ditch her husband if he was that annoying. I'm sure he has his redeeming points (as even my Ed does to me), but you don't have to stay in a crappy relationship if you don't want to. You just need help to get out.