ED Says, U Said: Contributions Needed

My good friend June Alexander asked me to post this for her:

The book, ED Says U Said, Understanding the Language of Eating Disorders is evolving and taking shape according to the responses/examples sent in – almost all conversations are in relation to AN which is interesting.

We have quite a lot on families (as in parents and children communicating) and would like to include more on adult sufferers and their partners/families – the communication difficulties caused by ED behaviours – for instance, if a partner is taking on the carer role, does this affect love-making inclination, and relationship equality in areas aside from the illness (e.g. Wife/female partner might hold down professional job, but needs husband to behave like firm parent when eating breakfast and again at evening meal, then off to bed as equals)? Or could be the mother wondering why adult daughter is not responding to birthday invite, etc. Also, depending on how long the illness drags on, how does the partner cope when recovery takes place, and also, if relapse occurs? Does the person with the ED, try to hide it, etc.?

I attach some examples, including several on couples. If anyone has examples relating to couples this will be wonderful (on top of all those people around the world have already so kindly submitted!). Would be good also to get some situations that occur when it is the adult male who has the illness and the relationship issues that occur.



Husband: You say you love me, but you act like you can’t stand me – 
you won’t even let me hug you! What did I do?

Wife: I want so much to let him hold me – but I can’t stand the feeling when he touches my fat. 
I’m so disgusting – if he feels how revolting I am he will be repulsed too

For this book to be as universally relevant as possible we want to include everyone’s experiences. Send in your accounts of where what you said or heard was misinterpreted and you don’t know why. Or if you do know why, include that too.

Submissions are invited from everyone – friends, sisters, husbands, mothers, grandfathers, daughters AND from eating disorder sufferers. Everyone’s experiences, contributions and perspectives are welcome and vital. The only requirement is that each account be limited to about 100 words. All submissions published will be anonymous to maintain the privacy of all concerned. Contribute your voice and help the world understand the language of eating disorders. Email your examples to june@junealexander.com

Click here for more information on the project. If you have any questions or want to contribute your dialogue experiences, email June at june@junealexander.com

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Alexis Kay said...

I have never said thank you. thank you for all that you write here. This site is truly wonderful. Thank you.

ex ana said...

I shared this information (Portuguese and Brazilian blog readers)

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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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