One of my favorite non-ED blogs is The Happiness Project, and the author has designated every Wednesday as "Tip Day."  So taking a nod from her, I'm going to do recovery-related tips every Wednesday.  Keep in mind that I'm basing a lot of these tips off of what has worked for me.  They're not universals.  So take what works and leave the rest.  If I find research to back up what I'm saying, I'll cite it.  Otherwise, consider it the devious work of Yours Truly.

Remember the old song that goes something like:

Nobody likes me,
Everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go eat worms.

(You don't want me to sing it. Trust me.)

That's self-pity.  The world sucks, you have no friends, you are a terrible person.  These feelings are both normal and common.  We're all entitled to a bit of self-pity; the idea is not to treat it like an all-you-can-eat salad bar.  Self-pity is a process that feeds itself.  The more you think about it, the deeper in you sink.  And when you're in deep, it's hard to see the possibility of climbing back out.  But the possibility is there.

1. Get real.  Folks with eating disorders often tend to compare themselves to unrealistic ideals.  Yes, models get thrown around a lot as a culprit, but the truth is I compare myself all the time.  Of course, I don't compare myself to, say, my "average" classmates.  I compare myself to my classmate who is the current Assistant VP of the New York Stock Exchange.  Cue the self-pity.  Many of my classmates have done outwardly amazing things.  Many of my classmates have also lived average lives of more quite amazing-ness.  My VP classmate may be miserable.  So get real.  Are you doing (mostly) the best you can with what you've got?  Okay, then.

2. Accept it. Life isn't fair.  In fact, life downright sucks sometimes.  Once I can stop dwelling on the Unfairness Of It All, I can stop feeling sorry for myself and start trying to find the solution.  Don't get down on yourself for thinking that life sucks here and there.  It does.  That's okay.  Life is gonna suck and you're allowed to hate it.

3. Do something.  Read a book.  Crochet a scarf.  Clean your apartment.  Rake your neighbor's lawn.  Whatever.  But do something positive to get you out of your head and into your life.  Especially when you have a bad case of I-suck-itis, doing something nice for others can really help provide tangible evidence that you are not a crappy person.  Because crappy people don't do nice things for others. 

4. Distract yourself.  Some people watch crappy made-for-TV movies because the silly plots make them feel better about their own life (I am, occasionally, Some People).  Indulging in schadenfreude isn't always the most endearing of human traits, but it's useful in a pinch.

5. Write a statement to yourself.  I'm taking a line from the wonderful folks over at F*ck Feelings, in which they advise the people who write in to compose a statement.  It lays out their goals for the situation, and the values that they're sticking to.  I use this when I get comparing myself to others and feeling that I'm not nearly as successful as they are.  So I tell myself, "I am doing my best to fight a dangerous disease, and I need to give myself credit for the hard work I've done, even though others may not recognize it."

6. When all else fails, wallow in it.  I know- it sounds contradictory to everything I've said above, but if you really can't shake feeling sorry for yourself, then you may as well indulge it.  When I was living in Scotland in college, I had a huge crush on a boy who I later learned had a long-term girlfriend.  I was devastated.  So I locked myself in my dorm room with two little sample bottles of fancy liqueurs I had swiped from the airplane.  (Take it easy- each bottle was maybe one shot. I don't advocate alcohol as a coping mechanism).  I drank the booze, wrote bad love poetry, and cried for a few hours.  And then?  I was so done with it.

I hope you liked this week's tips.  Share your other suggestions in the comments section.