Going north

I wanna dance the tango with chance
I wanna ride on the wire
Cos nothing gets done with dust in your gun
And nobody respects a liar

So goodbye for a while I'm off to explore
Every boundary and every door
Yeah I'm going north

Before I disconnect my laptop and stuff it in my messenger bag, before I stuff the cat into her carrier, before I remove my supplements from the freezer, I wanted to say a temporary farewell. I am, as the song says, "goin' north."

I wanna know where children would go
If they never learnt to be cool
Cos nothing's achieved when pushed up a sleeve
Till nobody thinks you're a fool

So goodbye for a while I'm out to learn more
About who I really was before
Yeah I'm going north

I'm going to miss this area and miss my friends and miss the hopes and dreams that I had. I'm going to miss my balcony and my fireplace. I'm going to miss the doggies in my apartment complex, from the overgrown black lab puppy who licked my feet yesterday to the 6 foot 4 guy with dreadlocks down the hall and his toy poodle (no joke).

Up where the hunted hide with ease
Under the arms of eye-less trees
Up where the answers fall like leaves
Oh and your love is all I need
Yeah I'm going north

But north has its own upsides- my therapist and my family. So I'm going north and I'm going home.

"Going North"
--Missy Higgins

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Laura Collins said...

(nesi'á tová) נסיעה טובה

(good voyage to you)

Sarah said...

Take care, we will miss you. *hug*

Lisa said...

Travel safe. I look forward to seeing you when you come back.

Tiptoe said...

Hope you have a safe trip home. Just want to say that ever though you may will miss your hopes and dreams of then, you can always make more new ones. But I know a sense of loss is hard.

We'll all be awaiting your return.

Anonymous said...

we are all here, we all support you, you are NOT alone.

Clare said...

good luck!

Peregrine said...

I'll let the Velveteen Rabbit say it, Carrie:

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled.

you are Real, Carrie, and that kind of Beauty can't go away. Don't ever give up--you are so valuable. This is just a dip in the road, and it'll make the view at the end that much more worth it. You're in my thoughts and prayers every day. big hugs.


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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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Have any questions or comments about this blog? Feel free to email me at carrie@edbites.com

nour·ish: (v); to sustain with food or nutriment; supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth; to cherish, foster, keep alive; to strengthen, build up, or promote


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