Happy Birthday, ED Bites!

That's right, dear readers- ED Bites is now two years old. And no, Ed has not yet bitten the dust.


People love to ask my why I started this blog, and I have to answer truthfully: I dunno. I felt I had something to say that was bigger than the two dimensional, lined paper confines of my journal. I wanted my words to be important. I disagreed with a lot that I had been told. And I was very, very confused as to what my illness was, what the future was going to bring, and what the hell I was going to do about it.

To be really honest, I don't know that I have any of the answers to those questions. I can spout my beliefs about my anorexia, that it's a biologically based mental illness, but I still don't know what anorexia really is. I still don't know what the future will bring, but if I suddenly become very rich, you'll know I'll have figured this question out. As for what the hell I'm going to do about this thing called Life with which I am blessed and cursed simultaneously,* I know that I have to stop hitting the snooze button and get out of bed for starters. After that, I don't know.

My head still feels like the airport hub for the three largest air carriers of Depression Airlines, AirAnxiety, and SkyAnorexia. And this hub is located on the island of Crazy in the city of Functional. I used to live in the town of Batshit on Crazy Island, which was fun because you could almost be anywhere. Most of the time I lived in Batshit, I didn't know I was living in Batshit. Now I'm on the other side of the island, living on Functional. People in Functional know they're stuck on Crazy Island until they can snag a flight to Normal courtesy of Prozac Giveaways or the Zyprexa Sweepstakes or Insurance-Pays-for-Therapy, Inc. They typically don't like living in Functional, but have often forgot what it's like to live anywhere but Crazy Island.

So I watch these planes come and go, never quite knowing whether all planes will be on the ground (and all hell will break loose), or if the take-offs will be on time, air traffic control will breathe a little easier, and so will I.

I'm still trying to snag my flight back to Normal after a lifetime living in Functional and many years in Batshit. I don't think I'll ever be "normal," where normal means average, traditional, white picket fence and dogs. But normal is just a setting on a washing machine.

*Can you choose to belong to a different animal phylum? Like Cephalopodia or Porifera. I don't think you can overrate life as a sea sponge.

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marcella said...

Happy Birthday ED Bites and may ED bite the dust soon.

Kim said...

I love the airport hub metaphor :) And, yes, "normal" is just a setting on a washing machine. Who the hell knows what "normal" is? I love your posts, and I really appreciate your honesty about your recovery. I would feel very lost if everything I read said that "the other side" would be so much better, etc, etc, etc. The truth is that most of the time, I'm not sure which side I'm on, and when I think I'm on "the other side," it's kind of a let down compared to my expectations. So, yeah. You have lots of us out here supporting you, no matter what your planes are doing or what island or city you're occupying :)

samsi77 said...

Happy Birthday ED Bites! You need not have an answer as to WHY, I tend to find that most WHY ?'s don't have an answer. I am glad that you did start this blog for your sake as well as for the many, many lives that you have touched! May 2009 bring you, Aria & your family health, happiness, ongoing recovery, love, family & Peace and lots of other good stuff!

Lisa said...

I laughed out loud at the expertly extended airport metaphor.

FYI, what you're doing is incredible. Keep writing and keep fighting.

I've been working at Sears this break, and I think the new washers are too high-tech to have a simply "normal" setting. Doesn't keep me from lusting after them like a horny bonobo.

Anonymous said...

What a fantastic metaphor, I've printed it out to share with my therapist. I can't know what purpose this blog serves for you, but I do know that it helps me -- thanks for the gift of your writing.

mary said...

Great post Carrie! Happy Birthday to a blog that helps more than yourself.
I think I've been to Island of Crazy via the damn Depression Airways, the one that always brings you down. For me it's omega oil swim club or B complex diving board that gets me home in a timely manner. Sometimes though I stop and attend the Pity Party on the Island of Stuck.
It helps to keep a sense of humor. Doesn't it?
You really help a lot more people than you know while you are helping yourself. Writing is an awesome tool for you.
Love ya,

alex45 said...

Wish you many more happy birthday...
I hope you serve us a for a long time...

Keep working...


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Jane said...

Happy Birthday!

Ojibway Migisi Bineshii said...

Happy Bday!

Melanie S said...

A very much belated Happy BDay ED Bites!

As to wanting to be part of a different animal phylum, I'd definitely choose Arthropoda, class Insecta. Order would be a bit more difficult. Mantodea would probably be top of the list. :) Malaysian orchid mantis would be cool.

Total entomology geek here. :p

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About Me

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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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Have any questions or comments about this blog? Feel free to email me at carrie@edbites.com

nour·ish: (v); to sustain with food or nutriment; supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth; to cherish, foster, keep alive; to strengthen, build up, or promote


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