My foot is trying to tap itself off my leg. I'm quite peeved about this. I want it to stop, I try to get it to stop, but then it starts right back up again.

I'm just stressed in general. I'm having grade issues with my students (which is all I'm saying lest one of them somehow finds this blog) and I have 3 interviews tomorrow for my new article. Which actually has a chance of going somewhere, so that's good. Unlike the rest of my stories, one of which is in article purgatory. That one is trying to burn off its sins so that the lovely people at the Johns Hopkins Magazines will like it, publish it, and then pay me for it. The rest? They're swimming with the fishies in the harbor.

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I interrupted my writing for a few minutes to do some quality pacing. Am I going batty? If you do go insane, isn't the very nature of insanity that you really don't know you've lost your grip on reality? I mean, if you know you're delusional, then you really can't be super delusional because then you know that you're not seeing reality.

This is a question that needs lots of coffee, lots of hallucinogens, or, preferably, both.

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Now I am surrounded by a stack of drafts to grade, which isn't my idea of fun. Actually, I don't know of anyone who would find this fun. I'm skipping Grey's Anatomy to grade papers. This is a revolting turn of events. Though, truth be told, I'm only not watching it because you can see the episodes online starting tomorrow.

Then again, when you really get down to it, I'm blogging, not grading.

I'm going to NYC for the day tomorrow, for a class field trip. This is the more fun parts about grad school. Field trips are much more fun. Our class (all 5 of us) are meeting with the editor in chief of Discover magazine. So do the publishing dance for me and maybe I can convince him to publish my latest story. I know it won't happen tomorrow, but still.

This also means I might want to consider wearing makeup. Guess I better look at the directions, huh?

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I'm really pissed at the moment that I have to spend so much of my time focusing on recovery. I mean, my classmates will pick up Chinese takeout, while I'll be watching and thinking "Don't you know how much fat and calories and sodium that has?" And they do this, day after day after day. It took me almost half an hour to pick out a breakfast cereal last week because I couldn't find one that was on sale*, that I would actually eat (I don't do sugary kids cereals because I get hungry too quickly), and that was also "healthy." I had a total meltdown. The "healthy" ones weren't on sale, and I didn't have coupons. So I tried to determine whether an additional 25 cents in price was worth saving 10 calories per serving, or adding 15 calories per serving, but also adding 3 grams of fiber.

So, yeah, while they're applying for internships, I'm trying to find something to put milk on every morning.

I really hate this, you know?

It's cereal. Why can't I buy what I want and just get on with it? But no- it has to be the perfect combination of price, taste, and health. The taste part is a good thing. I learned a long time ago that it's easier not to get anything at all, than to only get something you know you're not going to eat. And I know that not having anything is what the therapists call Really Bad, so I get something. But then there are all of these other really asinine factors that take so long to figure out.

That's just cereal. There are plenty of other things I buy, too. Many of them I end up buying the same thing, week in and week out, just because it is easier, and they go on sale regularly.

I must get some rest. Tomorrow is a long day.

*This was the 11th Commandment in my house: Thou shalt not buy ANYTHING unless it is on sale. As much as I talk about Ben and Jerry's, I only had one pint growing up. It was deemed too expensive and a waste of money. Seriously. So supermarket shopping naturally brings up its own share of guilt on top of the "OMG I have to buy food!"