In the News: The Mommy Job

It appears that the standards of motherhood have been changed. Now, along with your new baby's "firsts," you need to schedule in a "mommy job." The "mom job" consists of what is called the "trifecta of plastic surgery"- a breast lift (which can include implants), a tummy tuck, and liposuction.

An article on the "mom job" recently appeared in the New York Times, describing the ever-increasing and never-ending project to sell body hatred.

The sad part about this article is how it talks about the damage done to a woman's body by pregnancy. And how all new moms just want to get back to how they looked pre-pregnancy.

That this is becoming something of a phenomenon is really not surprising. If a celebrity gets pregnant and has a baby, then her goal is to lose all of the weight and then some. To look, in a word, like she never had a child. To look like she is the child.

One of the plastic surgeons quoted in the article says the following:

"Twenty years ago, a woman did not think she could do something about it and she covered up with discreet clothing,” Dr. Stoker said. “But now women don’t have to go on feeling self-conscious or resentful about their appearance.”


I wonder if it's occurred to him that "fixing" your body vis a vis surgery isn't fixing the real problem. That loving yourself and your body doesn't come from surgery. And I wonder how many women think that having surgery or going on a diet or whatever is going to make them feel better about their bodies, rather than accepting their maternal marks and learning to love them.


That's how many 'mommy jobs' were performed last year alone on women aged 20 to 39.

Diana Zuckerman, president of the National Research Center for Women and Families, put it best:
If marketing could turn the post pregnancy body “into a socially unacceptable thing, think of how big your audience would be and how many surgeries you could sell them,” she said.

At the end of the day, that's what this "mommy job" is. A disgusting and sad marketing ploy. A not-so-veiled attempt to seel us something to make us like ourselves better.

It's so incredibly tragic how the miracle of life is now being attached to the 'miracle' of surgery. And that women are being fed these notions of how you can only look one way, gain weight during pregnancy in one way, look only one way after your baby is born, look one way when you age. This isn't normal. At all.

Even women who have the procedure understand all too well the constant pressures for women to be thin.
There is more pressure on mothers today to look young and sexy than on previous generations, she added. “I don’t think it was an issue for my mother; your husband loved you no matter what,” said Ms. Birkland, who recently remarried.

Sorry, but if my hubby decides I'm too "deflated" after I give him a child, he can kiss my deflated ass on the way out the door. And the more these views are fed to us, the more they alter our expectations. The woman who was quoted above literally doesn't expect her husband to love her and care for her unless she looks young and sexy. While it's true that some men are indeed that shallow, many aren't. But if a guy expects a nubile young nymph to greet him every morning throughout marraige, he might get disappointed. So this is what a woman looks like with no makeup and normal boobs? Ohhhhh...

Coming home with a new baby is hard enough. Why not enjoy the continuation of life? I mean, if I went through a day or two of labor, I'd want the t-shirt that said: "I gave birth and all I got was this lousy t-shirt that my kid barfed on the first time I wore it."

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mary said...

Very sad IMO.
The man who wants a woman with perky implants and sucked in tummy would NOT appeal to me.
We get to have some say in whom we like. Hopefully you'll know him well enough BEFORE you get married and have a baby, to know if he's one of the creepy guys that is anal about how a woman looks. (there are signs flashing all over him) After all, we are constantly changing. Those types of men {{{{{creep}}}}}} me out.
Sadly, it's often the woman who wants to stay youthful and perky looking not seeing the beauty or worth in a body that done a great job in carrying a child.
YOU need to decide for yourself that you will stand strong for yourself as you age and change. Personally, I don't have time to focus on my looks but I do know that when I smile I look a whole lot better than when I'm worried. That's the best cosmetic surgery a woman can GIVE to herself.
Screw the $$$$kind unless it's needed for a medical reason.

lauren said...

God how do we end up there,,,or how did I? Just was thinking about you and wanted to say hi and let you know!
Love Lauren

em said...

This site is worth checking out:

It shows and celebrates the reality.


em said...

ps my belly is somewhere on that sight (buried away goodness knows where!)


Jeanne said...

Everytime I look at my bulbous belly and frown, I remind myself that this particular bulge housed my beautiful son for 9 months. Some days, that makes me feel better about it.
Unfortunately, some days it doesn't. And that's the tragedy of this culture.
I'm with you on this one, carrie - only the shirt that I want reads:

I went through 15 hours of labor, have stretch marks that make my belly look like a map of DC, and boobs that hit my knees.
And every bit of it and more was worth it for this beautiful child [insert photo of my son.]


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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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