In for the long haul

I met with my dietician this afternoon, and my weight is finally coming up. I swear, I thought I was going to have to start raising my own cows. To eat. Whole. Several times a day. Well, breathe easy, Bessie. There may be hope yet.

My secret weapons? Peanut butter and ice cream. If I can combine them, all the better!

I've been calorie-counting free for a week as of first thing tomorrow morning. Yikes! I haven't managed that in several years! I'm kind of proud of it, but I also have to stay on guard. I can't count just once. I fall right back in. Ditto for weighing myself. I've finally gotten to the point where I've realized that these behaviors are very counterproductive. I always think I've consumed too many calories. I always think I can shave a few pounds off my current weight. It makes me miserable! So why do I do it?

Habit. Decrease in anxiety (very short term). Hell if I know.

I've been using a technique I heard about in the movie What the Bleep do we Know? where I'm actually visualizing the changes in my brain as I continue to refeed and recover. I picture the neurons in my brain that are attached to things related to the anorexia (calorie counting, weighing, restricting my food, exercise) withering and dying. At the same time, I'm picturing the neurons towards healthy and positive activities (writing, beading, crochet, etc) strengthening. With food and thought, I'm actually changing the structure of my brain.

Mind-boggling. I love neuropsychology. If I ever got a PhD, it would be in that. Instead, I'm just going to write about stuff like that as a profession. Easier and more interesting.

So Bessie, I'll see you tomorrow. Though watch out- I've been having quite a hankering for hamburgers!

posted under , , |

1 comment:

samsi77 said...

I like the idea of visualizing changes in neurological functioning, it provides a mental and visual distraction! as for the visualizing of Bessie, that is another story!

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home

ED Bites on Facebook!

ED Bites is on Twitter!

Search ED Bites

About Me

My photo
I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

Drop me a line!

Have any questions or comments about this blog? Feel free to email me at

nour·ish: (v); to sustain with food or nutriment; supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth; to cherish, foster, keep alive; to strengthen, build up, or promote


Popular Posts


Recent Comments