I need some respect online because I sure don't get it at work.

Gah.

I'm sorry, but thus far I have magnanimously respected my co-workers' right to diet in public. Now why won't they let me NOT diet in public? All I did was put a bowl of chocolates out on my desk. And then the shit hit the fan. They voted that I should remove it. I refused.

What is this- some sort of "Survivor at Work"? You don't get to vote your fellow workers off the island. Nope. I feel like I'm perpetually stuck in high school, and I've been out for almost a decade. C'mon ladies, lets grow up. Do we need a diet club? Really? I don't ask what you did (or didn't) eat for dinner, so don't bug me. If I want to eat chocolate and keep them available for all, then I will. And by the way, I do actually hear you over the cube walls. I'm not deaf. I know when you're gossiping about me.

I had to restrain myself from telling the lady who yelled at me about the now infamous chocolates to "get some more willpower, chica!" But I didn't.

Then there was a mass email circulated updating the "Big Fat Loser" contest (the bank is beating the health department! Horrors!), and a tag line asking everyone to PLEASE respect those who are trying to lose weight and eat healthy.

So would you PLEASE respect my right to eat healthy? This includes chocolates. They're high in antioxidants you know.