Getting back to work
I was sorting through some of the links I had bookmarked on my Twitter page this morning, trying to use the current lag in work to get some other stuff done. Like looking at random web pages I had one marked as "potentially useful."
Which is how I found this blog post from PsychCentral on creativity and work. The blogger quotes author Elizabeth Glibert:
Always, at the end of the day, the important thing is only and always that: Get back to work. This is a path for the courageous and the faithful. You must find another reason to work, other than the desire for success or recognition. It must come from another place.
It has a lot to do with writing and the creative life, yes. But it also has a lot to do with recovery.
Many of us start down the road to recovery (if not dragged there, kicking and screaming) mostly because we want to feel better. The ED is making us miserable. This isn't to say we're especially keen to stop ED behaviors--an eating disorder does have an adaptive function, after all--but we generally get sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Which makes for a rude awakening when we realize just how miserable recovery is. It's why many of us find we need the support of a hospital, treatment center, and family/friends. Recovery is making us even more miserable than the ED (as if that were even possible!), so clearly our goal of feeling better was misguided. So we piss and moan, something I'm rather expert at.
Get back to work.
I love writing, yes, but the process isn't always pleasant. I regularly sit down in front of my computer feeling like my brains have turned to spaghetti and I have totally forgotten how to put a simple sentence together. The only solution is to start writing. Get back to work.
Nor does recovery always seem intuitive or natural or even always more pleasant than the eating disorder. I've fantasized about "taking a break" from recovery or trying to get people to understand just how hard recovery is. But easy isn't the point, nor is other's recognition. The hard work of recovery doesn't stop with a pat on the back or even a trip and fall.
At the end of the day, there's only one thing left for us to do: get back to work.
8 comments:
Thanks, I needed to hear this today! I've been struggling with putting together two sentences for a paper for class. I just need to start writing instead of being afraid of the white screen staring back at me!
I tend to go with the Dory saying from finding Nemo - Once you start, "Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming Swimming Swimming Swimming...."
L x
I kinda needed this. At my point in recovery (after being dragged here) I am having a nearly impossible time believing that this is what is best for me and I'm on the brink of winding up in the hospital again and I holding on to my ED behaviours with all I've got. I've really just got to pull myself up and get to work. Thank you!
I hate it when you're right.
I've been finding myself missing my ED so much lately, and wanting to go back to SO BAD. I was dragged to the hospital kicking, screaming, swearing and crying, so I didn't exactly 'choose' to get better. But none the less, here I am. The road back has been blocked off (Or so they tell me)so instead of standing still, I need a kick in the pants and to get moving. And keep moving, although I really don't want to.
Good luck in recovery and in life in general, Carrie!
Yep. Nothing to do in life but keep moving forward. Keep busy. Keep doing the work. Agreed. Even when life sucks- we have to keep on moving forward. I asked my RD at my last appt if I could take just a few days break- just a couple- ANYTHING- she responded, "No. There IS no 'taking a break' from living healthfully." and I saw in my head a neverending exhausting road stretching out in front of me on which I could never... stop... walking... and I cried. B/c I'm so fucking tired. Recovery takes so much fucking work. I'm breaking down all the time. But what can you do? There's nothing to do but keep walking, so I keep walking. You keep walking. At least we are not walking this road alone. At least those of us who understand can walk together.
There is a place for crying and raging and a place for kicking your own butt. I sometimes mix them up and do them at the wrong times :P
I love this post anyway, all very true! I used to try putting feeling better before action, and it never worked.
Proud of you Carrie. The ability to be authentic doesn't come easily to everyone. Please keep up the blog. Secrets keep us in illness. It helps to have a moment to ask, "why did i want this again" or "tell me again why working so hard for recovery is supposed to be for my benefit." you'll be a rock star one day. just wait.
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