I really liked the size acceptance excerpt. At SOME point much of society realized that "positive reinforcement" for shaping appropriate behavior in children works infinitely better than "negative reinforcement"- and we started working with reward systems instead of dunce caps and beatings. If we've figured that much out, why would people be surprised that it would work like that for adults too??? Shaming feels powerful, and sometimes prompts an instantaneous desirable response, but it doesn't last. Shame breeds anger and then rebellion once a person escapes from it.

Re: the child anxiety article: I have to say, society has come a long way in helping children psychologically. Back when I was a kid, "shaming" was the way to fix E-VER-Y-THING. Express an obsessive thought= "What's wrong with you that you would think like that?"= shutting down and shutting up and trying to appear normal= relieved parents, placated teachers, and kid w/festering psychological disorders waiting to wreak havoc on the kid as he/she grows up stuffing and stifling. The only kids who saw a shrink were ones so SEVERELY disordered that their parents couldn't shame them into hiding their struggles. Those kids were also invariably medicated too, and even more stigmatized because of it..

It's different now, and what a blessing. My child is hyper, has tourrette's, is obsessive, and has anxiety. He has ZERO shame about any of it. He sees a therapist ("a doctor that helps you with your head and your heart") and he has zero shame for that. He is unmedicated, never shy, lots of friends, always having fun. And so self-aware. Our family has been under loads of stress lately, and it's been coming out as aggression in him. I asked him why he thought he was struggling, and he thought a moment, then said, "Mommy, I think I need to go see Dr. ___." Honestly- for a little child to be self-aware enough to recognize that they need an appointment with their therapist- and to say it with zero shame, just matter of fact- damn, I just wish I had been born in a different era! I STILL hide the fact that I see a therapist from tons of people I know, including my kids, in case they tell someone!

There is irony in raising a shame-free child while I am still steeped in the shame of my own childhood experiences.

"Heavy at school, burdened for life" seems to have several glaring holes in it, not least that it's a longitudinal study of women who graduated in 1957! Even if the researchers did account for confounding variables (the poverty and obesity correlation, the fact that there was a much bigger problem with sex discrimination in the 50s, as well as a lot of prejudice against overweight people to name several obvious ones), all they did was prove that women who graduated in 1957 were less likely to get a degree if they were overweight. Okay, what about women graduating in the 90s, or ten years ago, or today? Big claim to make for a study which proves very little.

The articles on FBT and the Minnesota study were both great :) I will have to steal them for my charity's twitter feed! The redesign of the food pyramid has good and bad points - it's nice that they used "protein" instead of meat, but where's the fat? Not necessarily in the dairy products, if you use low fat dairy or have an allergy and stick to soya. Fat is essential to our diets, and there are already far too many people who believe that it's evil and should be avoided at all costs. I think I will ignore their recommendations and stick to my usual diet :P

I just read hm's comment - your son sounds great and you sound like a wonderful parent :) when I was a kid I had a tic disorder, OCD, panic attacks and general anxiety, and the attitude of my parents/teachers was that I was over sensitive and needed to toughen up. I don't blame them for not doing anything about it because they didn't understand or have access to the same information that parents do today - but it would have solved a hell of a lot of problems if I had been taught to manage my (entirely innate, I had a fairly normal childhood until I became unwell) anxiety as a child rather than waiting until I was on the verge of suicide as an adolescent!

Thanks, Katie- My son IS a great kid! And as for parenting, you are right to not bother blaming your parents for what they literally had no way of knowing. That's why it is VITAL to get information and resources out there and available to families, through schools, churches, media, whatever. The majority of parents have a deep desire to do what's best for their kids, but can only do what they know HOW to do.