A good man is hard to find

I blogged many moons ago about how TNT encouraged me to try Internet dating.  I even did an interview for Jezebel about my experiences (which was, granted, less than a week after I started and had been on zero dates).

About two months ago, I was getting fed up with the whole thing.  Guys would flake out.  They'd seem to be interested and then fall off the face of the earth.  They wouldn't be the right fit.  My last subscription to Anonymous Dating Site was expiring and I was pissed.  This wasn't cheap and I didn't have much extra cash to begin with. I canceled my subscription and sent my email address to the one guy I had started communicating with.  I wasn't holding my breath.  I was willing to re-think the Internet dating thing, but I was burned out and needed a break.

This burn out was illustrated by the following: I sent my friend Libby a swear-word laden screed about how dating sucked, life sucked, and the whole world could just go suck it.  I dropped enough f-bombs in the one paragraph email that someone might have legitimately investigated me for harboring weapons of mass destruction.

I felt much better after sending that email.

But then the guy from Anonymous Dating Site (I don't mean to be cryptic, but since this is my real name, I get very skittish about privacy stuff.  There are definitely people out there I don't want knowing the intricacies of my life.  So apologies in advance.) contacted me.  And then we went to see The King's Speech*.  The next weekend he came up near me.  Since then, it's been an every weekend thing with J.

He is...totally awesome.  Kind, fun, funny.  He found my blog--can we say Cammy's Awkward Turtles?  But he's asked smart, respectful questions about my eating disorder and, just as importantly, it didn't scare him away. J is considerably more mellow than I am, which is a good thing.  I need some calm and Zen in my life.  Our religious views (or lack thereof) mesh.  It's really nice to have someone like this.

So after sending some hair-raising emails to my friend and nearly venting my spleen at some poor customer service rep at Anonymous Dating Site--I wouldn't have done it, but I must confess I did fantasize a bit--I must conclude that this whole thing has been a success.  It was an emotional roller coaster.  But I've come to accept that I'm not the usual girl and so it would probably take me a while to find a proper partner.  Eventually, though, I did find someone.

*If you haven't seen it, get thee to a movie theater NOW.  Run, don't walk.

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14 comments:

Tiptoe said...

Yeah Carrie! So happy for you for trying! Dating is hard. Really hopes it works out.

I'm still looking but have some possibilities and haven't given up on the whole thing yet.

Cathy (UK) said...

Wow, this is awesome!!!! Sooo happy for you!

hm said...

:) :) :)

Cate said...

This is really terrific news for you Carrie - far better he find out about your past up front - especially since your advocacy work is such an important part of your life. Would be counterproductive to exclude him right from the get-go.

Sarah said...

Yay! This is exciting. I hope you keep enjoying each other!

PS--Since he reads this blog, he may read this comment, so J, if you are reading: CARRIE IS AWESOME AND BE NICE TO HER! That is all :)

Libby said...

Curse at me anytime you'd like... especially when it leads to an outcome like this. :)

Katie said...

Yay :D how exciting!

Carrie Arnold said...

It's super gratifying, and doubly so to have such great readers to share it with.

Shells said...

HOORAY!!!! So fun!!!

I don't think I'm afraid of dating, but I'm really not looking forward to having the discussion with my therapist about why I currently don't have any real care to find someone to date right now. HA.

Separate note: I am a very slow slow reader since I'm stuck in the lab 25 hours a day and sometimes I don't want to read about science, much less successful scientists when I never feel like one. However, I would LOVE to do Nerd Book Club! I have Skype but rarely use it. I'll email you!

Erica said...

So happy for you, Carrie!

North of Normal said...

Congratulations! A win for teh internets.

KL said...

That's GREAT! Dating is so hard! I'm so happy for you that you've found a nice guy!

Before I met my husband I did a LOT of online dating. I was ALWAYS the single (dateless) friend in my cirlce of girlfriends. These days i'm the happily married one. Just goes to show, you never know.

Good luck with the the new guy. Weather or not this turns out to be a long lasting love connection, I hope you have LOTS of fun!

HikerRD said...

Great news! Now you'll need a new blog where you can "privately" share updates!

Jane said...

He's lucky to have you : )

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About Me

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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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Have any questions or comments about this blog? Feel free to email me at carrie@edbites.com



nour·ish: (v); to sustain with food or nutriment; supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth; to cherish, foster, keep alive; to strengthen, build up, or promote



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