I'm a few days late in posting this (then again, I posted the Sunday Smorgasbord on Saturday night, so let's just say that my timekeeping this week totally sucks), but I figured better late than never.
It was New Year's Eve, and I was thinking about resolutions. I don't really like them--I've never really made one--in part because they're all about stuff you don't want to do rather than stuff you DO want to do. The joke among parents is that the easiest way to get a kid to do something is to tell them not to do it. And adults are just old children.
Yet I like the spirit of self-improvement, of making a goal and working towards it (this got very hijacked in the AN, but I do my best). And goal setting has been a really useful recovery skill for me.
The problem with goal setting is that we often settle for really vague goals and don't map out a plan to get there. Either one of these can set you up for failure. Lots of people use weight loss goals, but if I see another ad or story about dieting, I think I'm going to stab myself in the eye. How many Weight Watchers points are in an eye, anyway? I digress.
So let's use smoking. Quitting smoking isn't a vague goal, but unless you know how you're going to quit and how you're going to cope when you want to start lighting up again, it's going to be really hard to stay quit. Recovery is something similar. "I want to recover!" is awfully vague--what does that mean to you--and it also doesn't help you plan how you're going to get there.
It's where I ran into problems. Occasionally, I told myself that I was going to quit all behaviors and embrace my thighs and blah blah blah. If it lasted a day, I was doing well. Vague and directionless is pretty much the way to get nowhere.
On Twitter (do you follow me on Twitter? You should. I keep you posted on my near nightly consumption of nature documentaries and other nerdy fun, as well as ED research), I started a hashtag called #recovery2011, where I encouraged people to tweet their recovery goals for 2011. They didn't have to be specifically food related--an ED takes over your entire life, and recovery is about more than just food. I told everyone that I would share the responses on my blog, which I am doing here.
- Try learning hunger cues again and accepting them as they are not as something to fight with!
- I'm changing my relationship w my body. I'll try not seeing it as something that could be smaller & just as something that is
- Food is great & all, yet not worth all the power we give it. Hoping 2011 brings food enjoyment & fuel yet time spent on more.
- Hope 2011 allows u 2 b open & trust your body's wisdom: hunger/fullness/cravings communicate your food & movement needs.
- I'm going to practice being relaxed and joyful around food, with the idea of "fake it till ya make it."
- I intend to be fully present in my life rather than obsessing over what has been or will be.
- Learn to love myself, even if it means by Dec 2011 I have learnt to love only my little toe, accept that, love that, be that!
- Try something new and scary. Take things in stride. Embrace the present while looking forward to the future.
So go for it! What's your goal?