Measuring time in calories

One of my best friends from college wrote this amazing poem about her own anorexia.  It's just achingly beautiful and I had to share it here:

June 1st, 1942: 927 calories, 63° Fahrenheit

The first verse:

what is it like, to measure time
in calories, each moment a caloric collection
of seconds, each month a record
of how many grapefruit eaten, how many
pieces of cake or slices of cheese denied,
days upon days stretching into the absence
of every fat gram you did not eat,
every desire you did not pursue,
every dream you did not have.

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4 comments:

EmilyH said...

I don't want to continue to look back and think about all of the nutrients that I have denied my body....how I have stretched my small intake of calories the max. I hate how ED looks back on my restrictions rewardingly. I just threw up and feel like I am at the bottom of a hole with no way out. There's got to be more to everyday than this.

-Emily

Violet said...

So powerful, I'm always struck by ED related poetry, it's incredible to look at something somebody else has written and think "oh my god, this is me"...

K-pedia said...

That is absolutely beautiful. What sharp insight into how most of us feel (at one point or another). Prayers and encouragement to everyone in recovery out there! You can do it!

nurseconverse said...

How beautiful, and how achingly, sadly true.

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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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nour·ish: (v); to sustain with food or nutriment; supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth; to cherish, foster, keep alive; to strengthen, build up, or promote



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