"Fun" isn't exactly the word I'd use...

Many of you have been asking for a shakedown of my NEDA talk on relapse prevention.  So, without further ado, here are my thoughts.

I presented on relapse prevention (with the help of some LOLcats), basically using the information from my relapse prevention series from earlier this summer.  Yes, this was deliberate--I knew I would be presenting on the topic and thought I would double dip a bit to get some of my work out of the way and have a good blog series.  The presentation itself was a total rush of adrenaline, and I remember only two things:

1) One of my slides had a typo (it read "you" instead of "your")


2) One of the animal pics I used didn't elicit the same laughter as the others.

So yes, I remember the details and negative ones at that.  I do think the talk as a whole went exceedingly well, but much of it was a blur.  I spent the morning guzzling coffee to combat sleep deprivation, and then I had to take some lorazepam before the talk started because I was shaking and nauseous from nerves (and potential caffeine overdose).

My co-presenter and former therapist Stephanie rocked it out--it was so wonderful to work with her as a colleague rather than as just a client.  We made a fantastic team fighting ED, and we made a kick-ass team doing our presentation.

After we got done, my mom came up to the both of us and asked, "So did the two of you have fun?"  I raised and eyebrow and said that "fun" definitely wasn't the word I would have used to describe presenting.  It was, however, very rewarding and enjoyable in its own way.  It's not going to be my career, if for no other reason than public speaking would involve way more traveling than I would like!  I'm hoping to present at other eating disorder conferences, and I hope to meet some of you there!

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James Clayton said...

Alright, first of all there's no accounting for people's sense of humour and some pictures of animals are funnier than others. A baboon! Ha ha! A rodent! Erm...

And that wasn't a typo: you were clearly imitating broken English street speak to keep it linguistic authentic to daily conversation. "We has gots to deal with you issues, amigo. Fo' sho'..."

I bet the speech was absolutely fine and that in spite of your doubts, it was worthy, informative, entertaining or - just possibly - kick-ass.

(and no one will find this comment funny, which kind of reinforces my point ;))

Anonymous said...

You are really brave in my book for doing that! My mother says things like that to me all the time when I do "challenging things". She is always saying Have FUN! haha i try to tell her it's not my idea of FUN but she doest get it.

anyway, i'd love to hear you speak one of these days! keep doing your thing :)

Dana xo

hm said...

Ha ha ha- Your post made me laugh! I totally get it- I teach math- and have been told repeatedly that I do it exceptionally well- and it is a total adrenaline rush for me, every time- but afterward, I spend a ridiculous amount of time berating myself for every typo on the handout, every word I stumbled over, every time I dropped my whiteboard marker. My head keeps a list of my "sins," ALWAYS. It's disordered thinking. It isn't rational. Kids learn math with me that were never able to before, and they don't give a shit about my typos. They only care that I make learning for them attainable.

AND people learn to recover from YOU that were never able to even CONSIDER such a thing before. You have an incredible gift, and your rational mind knows it- you are smart for listening to it and continuing to share yourself through your writing and your speaking. You are making a difference, having an impact, on the people around you. And nobody gives a shit about your typos.

Missing the letter "r" is not a sin any more than a half a pound more or less is significant. To the obsessive mind it just FEELS so.

I am sure you rocked, and would have loved to be there and listen and learn.

charlotte uk said...

I am still sulking because I couldn't get there but your "mommas" tell me that you really rocked and were fantastically funny and well as being hugely enlightening and helpful to them.

Next time, darling.



Far Side said...

I'm glad that the presentation went well, nerves or not. It sounds like it was wonderfully funny and well-thought out. Hopefully, the rest of your proposals will be accepted and we can find out more then!

I Hate to Weight said...

sounds like a great presentation. great work!

i have to say that "fun" thing touched a nerve with me. when i drag myself two hours into nyc to see my therapist and psychiatrist (i'm not ready to break up with either one), people say to me, "have fun in the city", even though they know all i'm doing is a long commute and lots of hard work.

it feels good blowing off some steam about that

Alexandra Rising said...

Rumour has it that your presentation was quite good! [And informative!]

Anonymous said...

I heard it was pretty darn awesome and that you did (in fact) kick a**. However, this does make me sad that I didn't get to see it!!

Stephanie said...

My friends and family asked the same question "did you have fun" and that is kind of like asking a school aged child about "how was your day" after a long day at school. As anxiety provoking as I still find the process of refining/editing/re-editing and changing slides and preparing handouts and figuring out "perfect" timing for the presentation I also will admit that I do enjoy it. I enjoyed the planning with Carrie, shopping for our pictures, KITTY pictures and reviewing research studies and planning content and finally executing it together. Most of all, I thrive on the sense of mastery and accomplishment following the completion of the presentation and I was so very proud of you Carrie. Your presentation was terrific. Your slides were even more perfect because they had that noted mistake that i never even noticed and I only heard terrific feedback followed by encouragement to submit for the next professional conference. So wish us luck. I agree we rock at kicking ED in the behind! Behold the power of the golden fork! Stephanie

Erin L. said...

Hi Carrie,
I attended your session at the conference and I actually enjoyed it the most out of ALL the ones I went to! I am in a situation similar to yours- I am 3 years recovered from anorexia and still have the daily struggles with dysmorphia despite the healthy weight maintenance. It was so helpful to see your relapse plan and inspired me to tweek my own. I for one loved the icanhascheeseburger pictures and loved the humor! Thanks for a great presentation- don't sweat the small stuff. XO Erin

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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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