Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
These next few weeks are going to be a time of fairly significant upheaval for me. Why, you ask? I'm moving back to Virginia. DC peeps, quell your excitement. I'm moving to a different area of Virginia (SE part) and yes, with my parents. My parents were older when they had me, and so my dad was finally able to retire last month. They bought a nice ranch because my mom's knees are giving her trouble, and it's just 2-3 hours from DC.
Did I mention they bought the house right as they found out I had relapsed? Smashing timing there.
Our house here in Michigan finally sold--closing was yesterday--and the moving truck arrives on Monday. Even as the weather has rapidly grown too cold to use my bike, I have been expending plenty of energy packing boxes and hauling old furniture around. I am utterly exhausted.
Obviously, this means lots of changes. I will be moving away from my treatment team (I had my last appointment with my therapist this morning), and away from the place I have always called "home." I don't have a whole lot of emotional attachment to the house, as my living there over the past 10 years has been pretty sporadic. But I have to learn my way around a new area, find a new treatment team, and figure out what I'm going to do next with my life.
I initially wanted to find a job in the DC area and move back out on my own. I brought this up to my therapist, who gently reminded me that, although I had made a lot of progress, I wasn't yet ready to be totally on my own. So I decided to take this opportunity and try my hand at freelance writing full-time. Actually, part-time. I will look for a part-time job as well to provide some steady income and to get me out of the house. I'll convert a corner of the spare room above the garage to my little "office space," and do my writing there.
I'm not sure what will come of this right now. I keep thinking, "But what if I fail?" Which is a possibility- it's not easy to "make it" as a writer. On the other hand, I don't have the time or energy to contemplate that. As long as I have a Plan B, it will be too easy to give up on Plan A. Maybe the final version of Plan A won't look exactly the same in several days, months, weeks, or years. That's okay. For many years, I thought I would be a research scientist, until life in the lab began to gnaw away at me. I will figure out a way to write. How much my writing will occupy my time and provide my income remains to be seen.
I have several ideas in the works--several related to eating disorders and several not. I will keep you updated on these as I can. In the meantime, my blog isn't going anywhere, although there will likely be a few days in the coming week where I don't post as I won't have Internet access.
I still hate changes, even though my therapist takes pain to remind me that this is an exciting time in my life, that good things could come of this, blah blah blah. It's still changes and I still don't like it. I also know I'll adjust.
Eventually.
17 comments:
SE VA! Right on, im in the 757! Feel free to shoot me an email!
-Matt
Will be thinking of you! I know changes are challenging, but I think good things are ahead for you. I'm really glad you'll continue to have the support of your family, especially while searching for a new treatment team. Good luck with the freelance writing. I think getting a part-time job to supplement is a good idea, mostly to get out of the house. Keep us posted on everything! By the way, where were you in Michigan? My husband's from outside Detroit...
Best of luck with the move (etc.) Carrie... I find change really difficult too... My mind works rather like a computer: it works in a particular, systematic way, and change disrupts its operation. That said, change can sometimes be a really positive thing.
I think/hope you will succeed in freelance writing. You write very well and logically.
Have you thought about looking for part-time research assistant (or other) jobs in a university? Being in a suitable academic environment is great for intellectual debate and who knows, you might just get the chance to develop your own odeas for research?
*sorry - I meant IDEAS :D
Good luck, Carrie. You'll make a great free-lance writer!
Wishing you well ... and wellness, during the transition and beyond.
Congratulations on this exciting decision, Carrie (and feel free to change it if you want-I'll still congratulate you! haha.) I think it is a huge sign of progress to admit that a plan doesn't have to be black and white-it can change based on how it's going.
I hope you enjoy your new place and are able to put together a helpful treatment team ASAP! Do your best to keep your "recovery game face" on during the move, because I know transitions can be hard.
Oh, and Carrie, I was thinking about this yesterday and thought I should tell you. I know you have felt down about admitting to and seeking help for this relapse, but I still think of you as a role model for my recovery. You are still fighting, you are still being honest about where you are, and that is what is important. You are great!
Aw, thanks everyone!
Manifesting prosperity and fulfillment your way!
Best wishes,
I have total faith that you can rock this. Several of my friends freelance, and it seems that a great deal of it is persistence, which you surely seem to have.
Also, I'll be visiting the 757 after Christmas if you want to have an afternoon where hilarity will ensue.
Okay, I just realized what the 757 was...obvy I'm slow on the uptake here.
::gets more coffee::
Amy, I would love to meet you in person! Email me at carrie@edbites.com and maybe we can get together for coffee or something in a few weeks.
(Matt, I couldn't find your email on your profile, so drop me an email as well)
I loved both your books. I'm sorry your relapsing at the moment. I guess thats very scary. I'm more afraid of my treatment team than of relapsing. Fear is a great motivator. I'm pulling for you!
All the best to you and your parents at this exciting, scary and very tiring time.
"Look out, you rock and rollers!"
Good luck :)
Carrie, good luck on everything! I know exactly how you feel as I am still in the midst of this process--new job, new move, owning a house, finding my way around (good thing I have gps), and dealing with one of my dog's illnesses.
Change is hard even if it is good, positive change. I think the biggest thing that helps me is to remind myself this is only a transition and won't be forever.
Eating Alone,
Nope, I'm not relapsing right now. I think Sarah was referring to earlier this year when I had a doozy of a relapse and had to move home. Needless to say, I felt rather stupid. I'm doing much better now.
Tiptoe,
My phone has GPS and I love it! My mom, however, has GPS in her car and still manages to get lost in Michigan--where she's lived for the last 37 years! LOL
Carrie, all the best on all domains!
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