My weekend
I got together with two whole different friends this weekend. Can you believe it?
And had a fantastic time with both, I might add.
I'm not used to having a social life, and still can't quite get used to the idea that people would actually want to spent time with ME. I mean, really, now. Me. You have lots of important things to do and not much time, and instead, you would rather be with me.
How weird.
I was never used to that idea. I couldn't ever understand why someone would be friends with me. I mean, I spend heaps of time with me, and there are definitely other people I'd like to be cooped up with 24/7.
But the eating disorder squashed even my meager social life, and I'm still getting used to having one, however infinitesimal it might be. I still feel like an outsider- another one of those things I don't think will go away because I've always felt that way. That I don't belong, or that I'm the "pity date," or whatever. And shyness gets in the way of me participating in a lot of larger conversations.
But I have friends. That I see. And talk to on the phone. And that's good enough for me.
6 comments:
I had a great time on Friday, and it was great to finally meet you in person!!
Socially, I feel the same way. Why would anyone want to hang out with little ol' me? But they call, I call them, we go out for coffee, and they've stuck around, so something must be going right.
This is really great Carrie. I hope you continue to make time for friends in life. I suspect most of us feel weird about our friendships at times. I know I feel "different" in many ways and have gotten used to my own company.
I'd love a chance to meet you someday but if that never happened you'd STILL be a friend in my heart for this life time./******
I know exactly how you feel. Whenever I meet with someone, I always imagine that they are probably thinking how they can make a quick getaway from my boring conversation.
Its great that you can spend quality time with people without doubting their desire to spend time with YOU.
x
Libby,
Yes! It was lovely- and we'll have to do another stitch and bitch soon.
Thanks for your support, everyone.
Carrie
Carrie, good for you! I'm glad you had a good time.
I've felt similarly with why people would want to even hang out with me at all. How could I be an interesting person?
The last part of your post reminds me of a Psychology Today article I read awhile back about those who are "secure shy" and "nonanxious introverts."
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