My weekend

I got together with two whole different friends this weekend. Can you believe it?

And had a fantastic time with both, I might add.

I'm not used to having a social life, and still can't quite get used to the idea that people would actually want to spent time with ME. I mean, really, now. Me. You have lots of important things to do and not much time, and instead, you would rather be with me.

How weird.

I was never used to that idea. I couldn't ever understand why someone would be friends with me. I mean, I spend heaps of time with me, and there are definitely other people I'd like to be cooped up with 24/7.

But the eating disorder squashed even my meager social life, and I'm still getting used to having one, however infinitesimal it might be. I still feel like an outsider- another one of those things I don't think will go away because I've always felt that way. That I don't belong, or that I'm the "pity date," or whatever. And shyness gets in the way of me participating in a lot of larger conversations.

But I have friends. That I see. And talk to on the phone. And that's good enough for me.

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Libby said...

I had a great time on Friday, and it was great to finally meet you in person!!

Anonymous said...

Socially, I feel the same way. Why would anyone want to hang out with little ol' me? But they call, I call them, we go out for coffee, and they've stuck around, so something must be going right.

mary said...

This is really great Carrie. I hope you continue to make time for friends in life. I suspect most of us feel weird about our friendships at times. I know I feel "different" in many ways and have gotten used to my own company.
I'd love a chance to meet you someday but if that never happened you'd STILL be a friend in my heart for this life time./******

Lauren said...

I know exactly how you feel. Whenever I meet with someone, I always imagine that they are probably thinking how they can make a quick getaway from my boring conversation.

Its great that you can spend quality time with people without doubting their desire to spend time with YOU.


Carrie Arnold said...


Yes! It was lovely- and we'll have to do another stitch and bitch soon.

Thanks for your support, everyone.


Tiptoe said...

Carrie, good for you! I'm glad you had a good time.

I've felt similarly with why people would want to even hang out with me at all. How could I be an interesting person?

The last part of your post reminds me of a Psychology Today article I read awhile back about those who are "secure shy" and "nonanxious introverts."

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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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nour·ish: (v); to sustain with food or nutriment; supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth; to cherish, foster, keep alive; to strengthen, build up, or promote


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