My weekend

I got together with two whole different friends this weekend. Can you believe it?

And had a fantastic time with both, I might add.

I'm not used to having a social life, and still can't quite get used to the idea that people would actually want to spent time with ME. I mean, really, now. Me. You have lots of important things to do and not much time, and instead, you would rather be with me.

How weird.

I was never used to that idea. I couldn't ever understand why someone would be friends with me. I mean, I spend heaps of time with me, and there are definitely other people I'd like to be cooped up with 24/7.

But the eating disorder squashed even my meager social life, and I'm still getting used to having one, however infinitesimal it might be. I still feel like an outsider- another one of those things I don't think will go away because I've always felt that way. That I don't belong, or that I'm the "pity date," or whatever. And shyness gets in the way of me participating in a lot of larger conversations.

But I have friends. That I see. And talk to on the phone. And that's good enough for me.

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6 comments:

Libby said...

I had a great time on Friday, and it was great to finally meet you in person!!

Charlynn said...

Socially, I feel the same way. Why would anyone want to hang out with little ol' me? But they call, I call them, we go out for coffee, and they've stuck around, so something must be going right.

mary said...

This is really great Carrie. I hope you continue to make time for friends in life. I suspect most of us feel weird about our friendships at times. I know I feel "different" in many ways and have gotten used to my own company.
I'd love a chance to meet you someday but if that never happened you'd STILL be a friend in my heart for this life time./******

Lauren said...

I know exactly how you feel. Whenever I meet with someone, I always imagine that they are probably thinking how they can make a quick getaway from my boring conversation.

Its great that you can spend quality time with people without doubting their desire to spend time with YOU.

x

Carrie Arnold said...

Libby,

Yes! It was lovely- and we'll have to do another stitch and bitch soon.

Thanks for your support, everyone.

Carrie

Tiptoe said...

Carrie, good for you! I'm glad you had a good time.

I've felt similarly with why people would want to even hang out with me at all. How could I be an interesting person?

The last part of your post reminds me of a Psychology Today article I read awhile back about those who are "secure shy" and "nonanxious introverts."

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About Me

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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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Have any questions or comments about this blog? Feel free to email me at carrie@edbites.com



nour·ish: (v); to sustain with food or nutriment; supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth; to cherish, foster, keep alive; to strengthen, build up, or promote



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