Sick. And Tired.

I was in Boston over the weekend for a conference (a bit of a last-minute deal), and my last day there, I woke up feeling utterly terrible. In fact, terrible doesn't even come close to describing it. That I had a 7-hour train ride back home didn't make things seem any better.

The past few days have been terrible. Aches and pains, hacking cough, stuffy nose, and exhaustion. Take yesterday. I woke up at 10 am, slept from 12:30 to 3pm, then again from 5pm to 7:15pm, and was back asleep at 10pm. I was, however, up bright and early this morning at 7:45.

I'm feeling much better than yesterday, which means the moral of the story is that when your body tells you to rest, you really should try and listen. I actually laid on the couch most of Monday afternoon, watching DVDs and crap TV because my cough was too bad to sleep. Even thinking about exercising has been too exhausting to consider, and probably will be for the next week or so.

This makes me feel quite guilty. That I'm lazy. That being sick is no excuse for "getting off my game." I've gotten more rational and realisitic lately to understand that 100% of my usual wasn't going to happen while falling over with the flu. Yet I have reading for class tomorrow (a whole book!) that's 300 pages long, and I'm only 100 pages into it. This is also for the professor who yelled at me for coming to class yesterday because I was sick, so go figure.

My diet for the past week (when you combine the traveling and the illness) has consisted largely of take out. Yes, again, the guilt. For spending the money. For being too lazy to cook. For eating crap. I know it's what I need to do. I know this very well. I just wish I could make peace with it.

I have to go back to the health clinic in an hour for a re-check. They were really concerned about my lung capacity, which was 2/3 of normal. I'm feeling much better than before, but the cough is still nasty. My abs feel like they've been smacked with a baseball bat. Kind of in this fashion:

We shall see what turns up.

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Libby said...

Ugh. Yuck. I hope you feel better soon! I just got over the crud... it had me down for two weeks. I'm still feeling pretty tired from it all, though.

I totally hear you on the guilt thing. I'm still trying to get back on track with everything... shopping, cooking, exercise... I'm fighting with myself right now about whether or not I get to go to my yoga class tonight. Part of me says, "You're well enough!" And part of me says, "Don't overdo it..." I'm not sure who will win yet. I've got a few hours to decide.

But... like my awesome yoga instructor says... "Rest is best!" I send you plenty of virtual ginger ale, OJ, warm socks, tissues (the good ones with aloe in 'em so your nose doesn't get sore!) and cough drops... lots of cough drops.

Take care!
Libby in DC

mary said...

Sorry to hear that you're feeling miserable. There's a lot going around here, especially this time of year.The flu seems to be forcing many others I know to stop and rest.
Hope you've got some honey to soothe your throat. You have a good excuse to rest and take some time off. Might be the only way you can get through that tortuous book is to be bed/couch bound!
I was in Boston on Thursday and a very kind young women helped me navigate the subways...and the train. It's stressful when you have to be somewhere at a certain time and you aren't sure what you're doing.(me...not you)You are so much braver than I!
Hope you feel lots better soon!
sending reiki~

emmy. said...

oh wow. that sounds terrible - i'm so sorry to hear you've been so sick!

i hope you start feeling better. try to let that guilt go. i know...easier said than done. but i get really down on myself for things like that, too, and it's not about being too lazy or spending the money we probably don't have... we're doing what we have to do. you're *sick*. that's not lazy. at least you're eating, which can be the hardest thing to do when anyone feels that sick...ED or not. anyways, feel better and keep us updated.

also, i really appreciate your comment. you can absolutely link, and i'll add you to my blogroll as well :) thank you!

disordered girl said...

I so understand. It has been a bad flu season, so please go easy on yourself. It is OK to rest right now.

Tracey said...

Hang in there Carrie! And bravo to your prof that cared enough to tell you to go REST.

Your body is letting you know what you need to do; unfortunately it will knock you for a loop if you don't heed the physical signs of wisdom- I would suggest finding a good Indian restaurant and ordering some really spicy daal with light chapati (put some more chiles and ginger in at home!)

If I was closer I'd be bringing a pot-full over for you!

Sending Luv and Healing-

Sarah said...

Oh, yuck . . . I hope you feel much better soon. Take care of yourself, you deserve it.


Charlynn said...

Rest up, girl. There's nothing lazy about letting your body heal - it's a lot of work! :)

carrie said...

Thanks for all of your well wishes. I once again slept all day, and got a reprieve from reading and class tomorrow from my prof, who emailed me and ordered me to stay home.

I think I'm getting the message.

samsi77 said...

I hope that you feel better and better soon. Is this one of those times that a pocket size mini me would come in handy reminding you "do what is effective" well you are doing it! Sending well wishes and cyber chicken noodle soup too!

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I'm a science writer, a jewelry design artist, a bookworm, a complete geek, and mom to a wonderful kitty. I am also recovering from a decade-plus battle with anorexia nervosa. I believe that complete recovery is possible, and that the first step along that path is full nutrition.

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