Whew...and I thought I had bad PMS. Get a whole office full of women together, on the same cycle, except none of them will eat chocolate! No wonder they took the chocolate off of my desk the other day. (I put it back out in the morning) They're all crabby, and all they do is talk about food and how many pounds they've lost.

Payback's a bitch, huh? If only they knew...

Of course, they also began to discuss food servings and how many Weight Watchers Points were in each different item. I have yet to figure out the magical formula for determining how many points are in each particular piece of food. From the sounds of it, you could use all your points on a marshmallow roast and still come in okay. Whatever. However, the conversation then moved on to how to count up the points in a banana. Apparently, one banana is two servings of fruit.

There are numerous things I'd love to tell my coworkers, among them are the following:

• No I will NOT tell you how come I'm so skinny.
• I don't eat diet food so please don't ask.
• You're hungry because you're not eating enough.
• One serving of a banana is...a banana!

I'm starting to imagine all of these half-eaten bananas laying around in the fridge- next to all of the cans of diet Coke. But hey- they usually have some extra condoms lying around from the family planning clinic. Talk about a great banana preserver! It's hardly likely an extra banana or two is what made you gain weight, so why are you worrying about it?

Augh.

Part of me feels like I'm missing out on this game. First off, I'm definitely not used to being the heartiest eater in a place. Second, they don't talk about anything besides food and weight. If I'm going to talk to any of them, it has to be about one of the above two topics. I think about food and weight enough, and pay my therapist and dietician quite enough to discuss them. The LAST thing I want to do is talk about it some more.

Although one of the ladies admitted before lunch that she was so hungry she could eat the ass of a skunk.

Yes, Julie, but is a serving one butt cheek or two?

You decide.