tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post1024826697416594932..comments2024-03-23T08:25:22.526-04:00Comments on ED Bites: Turning negatives into positivesCarrie Arnoldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569839838912988783noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-4802241736194047082008-12-11T23:45:00.000-05:002008-12-11T23:45:00.000-05:00Perfectionist? CheckAnxious? CheckPeople-pleaser? ...Perfectionist? Check<BR/>Anxious? Check<BR/>People-pleaser? Check<BR/>Tendency towards black-or-white thinking? Check<BR/>Tendency to bottle up emotions & put on a happy face? Check<BR/><BR/>If that's not a classic bulimic's personality, I don't know what is :-(Crimson Wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03254830856234479999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-4793544681676147162008-12-07T09:26:00.000-05:002008-12-07T09:26:00.000-05:00Carrie, after reading your recent post about your ...Carrie, after reading your recent post about your suicide attempt, I followed the links to your earlier posts about the experience. The contrast in your voice from then to now is striking! I feel so much strength and self-acceptance in your current writings-- though of course the doubts are there, too. But for someone who is not nearly so far along as you, following the trajectory of your recovery is deeply inspiring.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-32668984180574536432008-12-06T23:44:00.000-05:002008-12-06T23:44:00.000-05:00It's incredible that this exact issue has been on ...It's incredible that this exact issue has been on my mind so much lately and it's what I discussed with my therapist on the day you posted this entry. I seem to be struggling so much against my own personality, unable (and I assumed unwilling) to accept my traits. But this gives me hope that I could take a different perspective on myself, and learn to use what benefits me while ignoring only the self-destructive elements of these traits. As always, food for thought from this blog... thank you so much :)<BR/><BR/>-MaiaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-50787295345193905042008-12-06T22:22:00.000-05:002008-12-06T22:22:00.000-05:00I totally agree with the 'fine line' on traits bei...I totally agree with the 'fine line' on traits being negative and yet positive, its all in perspective. Its like being lost, and only having a map. Its a choice to feel hopeless about finding your way, convinced the map is lying, or you could be patient and learn how to read the map, and have trial and error while finding your way. (and not beating yourself up if you can't get there the first time!)<BR/><BR/>My good qualities my ed turned against me were my OCD, perfectionism, need to please others before myself, and one of the worst-having quality time by myself. I'm embracing these qualities and making them work for me and not against me.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17034980786297421545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-46586467772130929782008-12-05T16:50:00.000-05:002008-12-05T16:50:00.000-05:00my therapist (well counsellor where I come from: I...my therapist (well counsellor where I come from: Ireland)tells me that i have like, a lot of strength, and that in future i'm gonna use it positively instead of turning it against myself. urgh, i feel like i'm being kind of big headed even saying that. But since she has said it to me, thinking about it has kind of helped me. I think strength is another quality that people who are likely to get EDs tend to have.<BR/><BR/> Also, some of the literature will tell us that we tend to be really caring and concerned about society, etc.<BR/><BR/>I think they're pretty good and powerful traits to have, especially when we can use them not against ourselves, just think how awesome we can be!<BR/><BR/>sarah-jAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-68955992305272487962008-12-05T16:00:00.000-05:002008-12-05T16:00:00.000-05:00i can't believe how much i've thought about this p...i can't believe how much i've thought about this post since i read it yesterday. nothing came to mind quickly. but i think the best thing i've learned is that i'm quite a survivor -- from my rough childhood through a very, very troubled adulthood. i keep getting back up, and i guess in a way i must believe in myself, because i keep trying and somehow going forward. thanks for getting me thinking and finding something to respect in me.I Hate to Weighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17241064340434705588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-32322358349929294302008-12-05T09:35:00.000-05:002008-12-05T09:35:00.000-05:00Katy-You're right. I think we should be focusing ...Katy-<BR/><BR/>You're right. I think we should be focusing less on how to eradicate these seemingly innate personality traits of ours (which may not even be possible) and figure out how to make them work in our favor.<BR/><BR/>You know, use them for good and not evil. Unless of course we feel like it. ;)Carrie Arnoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02569839838912988783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-48101998323287861022008-12-05T03:14:00.000-05:002008-12-05T03:14:00.000-05:00You hit the nail on the head! "It's a dou...You hit the nail on the head! "It's a double-edged sword" is practically my therapy slogan, and when I read that ADHD article I wanted to jump up & down. In my earlier therapy I heard a bit too much of the idea that not only COULD I get rid of certain traits, but that I should WANT to. (There's an incredible irony in someone telling you to "love yourself" while also telling you that major parts of that self need to be eliminated. I hate touchy-feely BS & I hate being talked down to!) <BR/><BR/>I LIKE that I'm perfectionistic & intense & stubborn & persistent & competitive & incapable of making an impulsive decision. Those qualities may have "fed" my ED (and sometimes they're a huge pain in the ass) but they've also served me pretty well. For better &/or for worse, they're part of who I am and the idea that I can change them is as ridiculous as the idea that I can permanently change my body proportions through sheer force of will. (And we all know how ridiculous THAT one is!) I like my double-edged sword, I just have to learn how to swing it AWAY from myself. (Hehe, I know, it's corny, but it works!) <BR/><BR/>I have a lot more thoughts on the topic, but since this isn't my blog and I can't make my thoughts come out quite right at 2 AM (ahem...perfectionsim...) I think I may have to write a post on this on my own blog later...Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07840033787641336933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-48172954808646351882008-12-04T22:35:00.000-05:002008-12-04T22:35:00.000-05:00Haha I liked it. And seriously that is what it fre...Haha I liked it. And seriously that is what it freaking sounds like. Actually it is like being on an airplane. Ed and white noise. Nothing else. Sometimes even if I wanted to respond I'm not sure that I would be able to hear myself. But maybe soon I'll be able to take off those ugly ass ear phones!ASHY91906https://www.blogger.com/profile/13989955377203755515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-81709716073917727052008-12-04T22:27:00.000-05:002008-12-04T22:27:00.000-05:00Not to toot my own horn, but here's an old post th...Not to toot my own horn, but here's an old post that your comment made me think of:<BR/><BR/>http://ed-bites.blogspot.com/2007/05/taking-off-my-ed-phones.html<BR/><BR/>And very glad to help.Carrie Arnoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02569839838912988783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-34365803177851854292008-12-04T21:43:00.000-05:002008-12-04T21:43:00.000-05:00Insight does tend to be slightly overrated, doesn'...Insight does tend to be slightly overrated, doesn't it? But seriously, I wish that I could push a button and take his voice away. But I guess that that's what recovery does, right? Thanks for giving me a place to post and figure these things out. I tend to think better when I can bounce ideas off of people. And I like this because through you I can see where I want to be. And I can see that it's possible to move forward.ASHY91906https://www.blogger.com/profile/13989955377203755515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-64147616907767281162008-12-04T21:28:00.000-05:002008-12-04T21:28:00.000-05:00Ash,Well, okay- that's honest. I wouldn't worry a...Ash,<BR/><BR/>Well, okay- that's honest. I wouldn't worry about the hows and the whys at this point. Just keep on ignoring Ed and moving forward. Insight (for me) was a little overrated. Even when I did have the insight, it didn't make the behaviors stop necessarily. Only NOW can I look backward and analyze things a bit and see that the perfectionism and obsessions were really playing a role.Carrie Arnoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02569839838912988783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-4776354555420555952008-12-04T20:12:00.000-05:002008-12-04T20:12:00.000-05:00As you pointed out, the qualities that essentially...As you pointed out, the qualities that essentially led to the eating disorder aren't 100% bad. If it weren't for some of them, I wouldn't be where I am today - good and bad. I was able to get into a good school and have overcome hurdles aside from the eating disorder thanks to being stubborn as a mule (as people like to tell me). <BR/><BR/>But I'm having such a hard time getting beyond the initial thoughts of Ed. I cannot seem to push him away for long enough to see the traits such as perfectionism and obsession playing a role. All I hear is Ed loud and clear, screaming in my ear and making my head hurt.ASHY91906https://www.blogger.com/profile/13989955377203755515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6561748834204284315.post-64391085157811432008-12-04T18:04:00.000-05:002008-12-04T18:04:00.000-05:00Every day, every post is a new gem!Every day, every post is a new gem!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com